Well, we've achieved 6 months in the life of little BAM (Baby Alden Miller). As was expected, and is known by most parents, life has taken on a richer meaning since having him, and I feel a sense of purpose I never had before. I have so much love in my heart lately, that I told Matthew I feel like I've turned into a big ball of mush. Something else I thought I'd never have so much of- coughing, phlegm, fevers, and trips to doctor.
Alden started daycare about 2 months ago. Funny thing, that's about the time he came down with his first cold-turned ear infection. Since then, an ear infection re-occurrence, another round of cold symptoms, and now Foot-Hand-Mouth (look it up-it's awful). What is with this? I remember hearing that daycares were nothing more than incubation chambers. Too bad this might be true!
I knew we would go through the standard sicknesses when I became a mom. But I never took into account the unapologetic love I would have, and the drive to keep our child happy and out of pain.
This mommish-ness has really interfered with my logical side! Phrases like "just a cold", "a fever won't hurt him", and "not as bad as it seems" are blocked from my internal conservation. Instead, phrases sound like "If he doesn't feel better in an hour we're off to Urgent Care." and, "no baby has ever thrown up so much".
It goes without saying- when BAM feels better, I do too. It's then easy to forget about the anxiety and sleep-deprived nights, wincing while listening to coughing on the monitor ("was that a throw-up cough, or a regular cough?"). But truthfully, Alden being repeatedly sick hasn't given much to the case for having a second baby. Whenever I start to lean toward the double-baby idea, all I need to do is recall my heartbreak in watching Alden at his low-points. Poof! Only-child is all I can see in my future.
I think my takeaway on this baby-sick journey, is that Mommy needs to get a thicker skin (I think it is building). The key is viewing this developing "toughness" as new strength. So maybe I've found a 'plus' side to enduring trauma with my baby? Maybe- it would be nice to know that something good will result from all these bacteria/germs. Because I am honestly not sold on the whole "getting sick builds immunity" argument. (Someone check back with me in 15 years, and let's see if our little guy quits being so sick!)
Until next time, big hugs to our family and friends.
Mommy Erin (and a 99% healthy Alden.)
