I’d like to share a few of the gems that my little Sweet Potato (a.k.a. baby Alden) has offered me. It turns out, there is more to gain from being a mother, than just, well, the wondrousness of that baby. The following perks are the additional and unexpected reasons I’m happy I’m a mother.
Being Present
Alden is teaching me to live in the moment by quieting my
mind (at least when I’m with him). I like the practice of sitting with *Bam
when we play together, without worrying about the list of activities I’ve got
to accomplish via my “routine”. This turns out to be pretty easy, because I know
anything I’m doing with him is the highest use of my time. When I’m with my
baby, I’m focused (and I know I better be, or else I would never, ever be able
to find my car keys or purse).
Patience & Perseverance
When I’m having an impatient moment (mercy- please fall
asleep, I’ve got to be up in 2 hours), Alden unwittingly shows me that since
I’ve got to stick it through (a.k.a. no choice), it’s best to have a positive
attitude about it. Alden’s Daddy explains the secret to his patience (he’s got lots of it) is being able to see the Light
at the End of the Tunnel (i.e., these challenges won’t last forever; they are
passing, and will make way for new ones). Since I was not blessed with this “end
of tunnel” sight, Alden paves my path to patience. I’m learning that even in
the most challenging times, at least this time is he and I together –and is completely
priceless. Maybe I’m best off trying to extend even the imperfect times.
Because in the big picture, all these moments with him (and with life in
general), are simply fleeting. Sigh.
Dropping the Ego (a.k.a. What Competition?)
Letting go of ego (wow, this is tough). Another daily
crusade Alden strengthens me to tackle. I mean honestly, who really cares if
the 10 month-old baby at daycare is already jogging circles around my toddler?
The urge to compete has been so ingrained in me, that it’s actually been a
cleansing and necessary experience to “just-let-go” of the thoughts around what
everyone else and their children are doing, to happily focus inward. Every baby
has a different journey to development, and it seems petty that we, the parents
(although probably hard-wired in) would judge something as personal as growth -
up against others. (Besides, since those other babies aren’t as smart as Alden,
who cares how soon they’re walking?)
Personal Toughness
This mommy is getting a thick skin (refer back to earlier
writing about painfully watching baby survive those colds and viruses). I used
to think I could not tolerate watching Alden get sick and struggle through it.
Well, it has happened on a few occasions now, and I’m finally adapting the back-bone
it will require to be the mother of a toddler (and teenager!). This back-bone
has actually translated to other areas of my life, where it pays not to be a
wimp. And I’m proud to say, I’m less wimpy then I’ve ever been (although my
husband would say that isn’t stating too much).
Love of Life (a.k.a. Play!)
This lesson is so obvious. Alden has taught me a new
experience of Joy; I am having fun in more ways than ever before. I have
learned the art of singing at random (fun), and of ridiculous-dancing when I hear
a kid’s song (also fun). I’m enjoying a second chance at being a kid - and this
is just the beginning. This renaissance
will keep me young for years, complete with several trips to Disneyland (at
Matthew’s coaching), holiday rituals, and loads of children’s movies. I realize
looking back on pre-mama days, that I was pretty boring as an adult. But as an
adult with a baby, I’m super-fun with a capital S.
* Baby Alden Miller
