Happy New Year! 14 Months Old -- The (Other) Reasons Why I’m Happy I’m a Mommy

I have a couple of friends who are contemplating whether to take the Big Dive in this New Year- to have a baby or not. I hear questions like “What about my work-life? What about my personal goals, my free time? What about my relationships? My selfish lifestyle? I like not answering to anyone.” Well of course there will be sacrifices before, during, and after mommy-ness takes hold. But I must share that since I’ve succumbed to the mommy-ness in me, I’ve become a more enriched person (not just through the whole “giving a new life” thing) but through learning some unexpected lessons that my baby son has offered me.

I’d like to share a few of the gems that my little Sweet Potato (a.k.a. baby Alden) has offered me. It turns out, there is more to gain from being a mother, than just, well, the wondrousness of that baby. The following perks are the additional and unexpected reasons I’m happy I’m a mother.

Being Present

Alden is teaching me to live in the moment by quieting my mind (at least when I’m with him). I like the practice of sitting with ^*Bam when we play together, without worrying about the list of activities I’ve got to accomplish via my “routine”. This turns out to be pretty easy, because I know anything I’m doing with him is the highest use of my time. When I’m with my baby, I’m focused (and I know I better be, or else I would never, ever be able to find my car keys or purse).  

Patience & Perseverance

When I’m having an impatient moment (mercy- please fall asleep, I’ve got to be up in 2 hours), Alden unwittingly shows me that since I’ve got to stick it through (a.k.a. no choice), it’s best to have a positive attitude about it. Alden’s Daddy explains the secret to his patience (he’s got lots of it) is being able to see the Light at the End of the Tunnel (i.e., these challenges won’t last forever; they are passing, and will make way for new ones). Since I was not blessed with this “end of tunnel” sight, Alden paves my path to patience. I’m learning that even in the most challenging times, at least this time is he and I together –and is completely priceless. Maybe I’m best off trying to extend even the imperfect times. Because in the big picture, all these moments with him (and with life in general), are simply fleeting. Sigh.

Dropping the Ego (a.k.a. What Competition?)

Letting go of ego (wow, this is tough). Another daily crusade Alden strengthens me to tackle. I mean honestly, who really cares if the 10 month-old baby at daycare is already jogging circles around my toddler? The urge to compete has been so ingrained in me, that it’s actually been a cleansing and necessary experience to “just-let-go” of the thoughts around what everyone else and their children are doing, to happily focus inward. Every baby has a different journey to development, and it seems petty that we, the parents (although probably hard-wired in) would judge something as personal as growth - up against others. (Besides, since those other babies aren’t as smart as Alden, who cares how soon they’re walking?)

Personal Toughness

This mommy is getting a thick skin (refer back to earlier writing about painfully watching baby survive those colds and viruses). I used to think I could not tolerate watching Alden get sick and struggle through it. Well, it has happened on a few occasions now, and I’m finally adapting the back-bone it will require to be the mother of a toddler (and teenager!). This back-bone has actually translated to other areas of my life, where it pays not to be a wimp. And I’m proud to say, I’m less wimpy then I’ve ever been (although my husband would say that isn’t stating too much).

Love of Life (a.k.a. Play!)

This lesson is so obvious. Alden has taught me a new experience of Joy; I am having fun in more ways than ever before. I have learned the art of singing at random (fun), and of ridiculous-dancing when I hear a kid’s song (also fun). I’m enjoying a second chance at being a kid - and this is just the beginning.  This renaissance will keep me young for years, complete with several trips to Disneyland (at Matthew’s coaching), holiday rituals, and loads of children’s movies. I realize looking back on pre-mama days, that I was pretty boring as an adult. But as an adult with a baby, I’m super-fun with a capital S.

 

It seems like a hundred years ago that I was one of those contemplative (hesitant) girls with the question mark over my head (am I cut out to be a mother?). The answer was always a resounding yes… I’m learning life-lessons that have enlightened my existence as a person, making me feel very grateful I have had the experience of becoming a mother. My self, as well as my happiness have grown leaps and bounds since my baby was born. Viva La Baby.

 

By Erin Miller

 

 

* Baby Alden Miller